Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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