please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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