At least make sure they are 18
Why
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
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Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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