So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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