You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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