God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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