I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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