Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize