im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think my fart just growled at me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize