we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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