There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I could fuck to npr.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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