What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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