My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize