The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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