I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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