Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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