yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize