There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
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Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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