i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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