I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize