whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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