Sponge bath it is.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize