I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize