My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
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Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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