only if we run a train.
done.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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