Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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