currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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