i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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