It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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