Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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