i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize