I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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