There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize