your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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