It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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