Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
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Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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