Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
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I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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