Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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