Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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