sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize