the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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