the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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