i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize