are you still at the devil's house?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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