the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize