Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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