WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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