if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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