Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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