whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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