Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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