K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
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Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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