do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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